i haven’t written a blog post in quite some time. the two week mark for my suprapubic catheter placement seemed like a good time. on october 2nd i went in at 5:30 am to the gw hospital. things went well. i had some complications which landed me back in the er but i got great care and came home with not only a spc but a foley catheter too! lucky me. i had that in til last wednesday. the doctor finally took it out (thank god) and i got some flip flow vales which have made all the difference. i can go about 1 and a half hours between emptying and hope to push it up to 3-4.

the big question: would i do it again?
ya i would. ive been having vivid dreams where people i don’t know tell me not to be ashamed. i guess deep down inside i am. its loads better than the alternative but i don’t think people understand the emotional medical trauma i have been through. i keep it mostly inside and it manifests in depression. like today i just couldn’t get out of bed. i finally showered because i knew i had to for my spc but it took all i had. i wish i felt like i could talk to friends and family about this but they don’t understand. and therapy is just.i don’t know. if you haven’t been through an amputation or deal with your body just railing against you it would just seem like incessant whining. i guess thats why i need to write more.